8 Rules for Finding Inner Peace


Exercise is not only good for our bodies but also for our brains.  Exercise relieves stress, boosts energy, improves sleep, reduces anxiety, reduces depression, and releases endorphins which produce in us a feeling of peace and well-being. Exercise is one of those habits that is so healthy for our mental health that it finds itself at the top of this list! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1470658/

Make Peace with the Past

The past can haunt us, and if we let it, it can spoil our future.  Make efforts to let the past be a lesson for you, not a definition of you.  Your past does not define you, your efforts do.  If you struggle letting go of the past, a depth oriented therapist can help you explore it and put it to rest so it does not keep haunting you.  Maybe you need to find forgiveness, validate the pain, or move through grief, but you CAN move past the past! It is possible to find freedom from its grip on you.

Time Heals Everything

Our scars make us who we are.  They are our greatest ally if we let them be.  Given enough time and self-compassion, our scars will turn into our strengths.  Scars create compassion, perseverance, grit, and love if we will take the time to let them heal with compassionate presence (the healing balm of all inner wounds).

What Others Think of You is NONE of your Business

Opinions are a dime a dozen.  Judgmental opinions of you have more to do with the person carrying them than they do you.  In order to find peace, we must understand that we will never escape judgement and become at peace with it.  Judgement is simply a result of an insecurity in another person, so let it lie in them, don’t take it on.  It is none of your business.

Knowing the Answer is not a Solution

Oftentimes we want to understand why things happen, or get answers we will never have.  Sometimes there is no answer and there never will be.  Or maybe, knowing the answer will bring more pain.  Trying to find the answer to why is not a solution to the problem.  The solution is to start with self-compassion/self-validation and then take the next step forward, this will bring the most peace.

No One Can MAKE You Unhappy

There is a choice we must all make when faced with people who cause us pain.  We can either continue to be in a relationship with them and accept the pain, or we can move on from the relationship and the pain.  When we constantly badger people into becoming what we want them to be (so we can be happy) we miss out on peace.  Letting go can mean more pain temporarily as we grieve the loss of the relationship or our idealizations, but in the end, if we grieve and move forward, we begin to find healing, self-respect, and eventually peace.

Comparison is the Enemy

Comparing your life to another person’s is a trap.  We never know what is really going on in someone else’s life.  Especially when we are comparing our real life to someone’s social media life.  Social media is a false narrative where people always seem happier than they really are.  Don’t compare, live your life to the fullest.  In fact, take a break from comparing and take note of how you feel during the break.  You will find that you may not be unhappy with your life, but that in fact, comparison is actually the thing you are unhappy with in the end.

Rise up

When we find ourselves feeling down, we can decide to give in and lie down, or we can rise up.  Maybe that means we smile at someone today, or pet a puppy.  Rising can mean different things to different people, but the concept is that we can reach for joy, gratitude, and connection every day, even on the most difficult days.  Sometimes that means reaching out to a therapist, sometimes it means hugging your child, or sharing coffee with a friend.  It may mean being vulnerable, asking for help, or simply talking a walk.  There are thousands of small actions one can take in a day to improve the day, you just need to pick one and start today.

My name is Debra Schmitt, I am a therapist in Visalia, CA.  If you need support in your journey toward inner peace, please give me a call (559) 697-5045.  I would love to help you rise up and find deep inner healing.

“I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”  — Walter Anderson

Do you live the Hanford or Visalia California area? Call me to set up a therapy appointment today!

Debra Schmitt, ACSW

Reno NV Therapist / California Teletherapy

Call: 559-697-5045

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