“Is Couples Therapy Right for Us?”
What It Is, What It Isn’t, and Why It’s Not Just for Couples in Crisis
When most people hear “couples therapy,” they imagine a couple on the verge of breaking up, sitting tensely on a couch, trading accusations while a therapist plays referee. But that image is outdated. In reality, couples therapy is less about fixing what’s broken and more about learning to better connect, communicate, and grow together.
Whether you’re dating, married, newlyweds, or decades deep into your partnership, couples therapy can offer a safe space to strengthen your relationship.
💡 What Is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is a type of psychotherapy designed to help romantic partners:
- Improve communication
- Navigate conflict in healthier ways
- Rebuild intimacy and trust
- Work through life transitions (like becoming parents, moving, or retirement)
- Heal after a betrayal or long-standing hurt
As a trained couple’s therapist I help both partners understand each other more deeply—often translating what’s underneath the arguments. Think of it as relationship coaching, emotional tuning, and joint self-discovery, all in one.
❌ What It’s Not
- It’s not about blame. Good couples therapy avoids choosing sides. Instead, it focuses on patterns, dynamics, and underlying emotional needs.
- It’s not a last resort. In fact, going before you hit a crisis can actually prevent one.
- It’s not just “talking about feelings.” Effective therapy gives you tools—like communication skills, emotional regulation, and real-time practice—to create real change.
🚦Signs You Might Benefit from Couples Therapy
You don’t need to be on the brink of a breakup to benefit. Here are some common reasons couples seek help:
- You keep having the same fight over and over.
- Conversations often turn into arguments or shutdowns.
- You feel more like roommates than partners.
- You’re struggling with parenting differences or blended family stress.
- Trust has been broken and you’re trying to heal or rebuild.
- You want to work on intimacy, emotional connection, or sex.
- You’re just not feeling heard or seen.
Even happy couples go to therapy. It’s a sign of commitment—not failure.
🔧 What Happens in a Session?
Depending on the therapist’s style (and your goals), sessions might include:
- Joint conversations guided by me, the therapist
- Individual check-ins (sometimes)
- Identifying triggers and old patterns
- Practicing new communication strategies
- Homework (don’t worry—it’s usually just something like “try this small change at home, or think about why this is important and bring that to next session to talk more about”)
I use evidence-based approaches called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Couple’s Institute’s Developmental Model.
💰 What About Cost & Insurance?
Couples therapy is often not covered by insurance because it’s not considered “medically necessary” (no mental health diagnosis is required). That’s the main reason many couples pay out-of-pocket.
However, I will provide superbills for partial reimbursement if one partner is diagnosed with a mental health condition that’s being treated within the relationship context.